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December 12, 2004

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Dear Mr. Loggins,

My mom died a year ago today...19th of December 2004...

I was having a day of remembering...I'd written an email to my closest friends and relatives before the break of day...then to cheer me up, I opened a gift my brother had sent me (he sent twelve gifts to be opened the twelve days before Christmas) and in it was a candle in a cup and some coasters with angels on themwith a note to remind me of Mom...

I lit the candle and was cleaning off an area that had some of my mother's things on it...a picture of Mom and me...a couple of patches that said "Grandma Alice"...a cariture card I had made for her the last Christmas my dad was alive...a beautiful blue butterfly necklace...booties that perhaps had been made by my grandmother and worn my me...the bracelet I wore in the hospital as an infant...

As I found these items I sort of made a little "shrine" in the center of my table...placing each items artistically around the picture of My Mother and Me....

The song "walking in the Air" was playing (which is one of my favorite ones because often I walk in the moonlight) and I was just singing with you and making a hot beverage and working away...

Before I knew it...the song "The Bells of Christmas" began and its power overtook me...the music and the lyrics just swept me away...away to the sadness of my Christmas last year...of the pain I (and my seven sibling) were enduring as we struggled to step into Christmas...

There is a freedom in that song...and I thank you for opening it to me...it touched my heart in a very special way...it allowed me the present pain...the aching of knowing that this Christmas would be different...that someday...the bells would ring again...that hope was alive...and in the future...patiently waiting for a time to reveal itself...

It is marvelous song...I wrote to everyone I had on my email list and told them to find your song today...to ponder the depths of its meaning...to allow it to touch their hearts...Thank you for the grace of your genius in my life today...

Simply,
Mary

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